I started writing poetry again.
Watch out Def Poetry Jam. Watch out Write Bloody. Watch out WORLD.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Choices.
I read this article today. I have a heart for so many places. I didn't have the heart to tell the one I love that i got a job offer in Colorado and was debating moving there instead of Philly. But, I know where my heart is. My dream is to move out to Colorado but i have a place for me in Philly. I can't wait.
Giving Up Your Spiritual Journey (and Putting Down Roots)
by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove 04-23-2010
Don lived for years in the Chicago area, working hard and trying to keep up with the fast pace of his profession. Several years ago, he left the city and took a job on a somewhat remote college campus run by Benedictines. While visiting on the campus once, he and I walked the carefully cared-for grounds, talking about our faith. “Since coming here,” Don said, “I’ve given up my spiritual journey.”
I could tell from his smile that he had a point to make, so I asked what he meant. “Well, you know, we Christians talk a lot about our spiritual journeys. We get excited about experiences and go places looking for the next spiritual high. We say God called us here. Then God calls us there. But it’s all so individualistic. It’s all so focused on little ‘lessons’ or ‘insights’ that we’re supposed to take with us to the next place.” Don paused and looked around at some of the old men in long black robes who were walking by us on the campus. “I think I’m learning from these guys that God can change us if we’ll settle down in one place. So I’ve given up my spiritual journey. I’m going to just stay with God here and see how I can grow.”
We cannot ignore the many ways that our culture of hyper-mobility has shaped how we think about our spiritual lives. Thanks to cheap plane tickets and strong economies, we can go more places now than we’ve ever been able to go before. We go to Italy to see where Francis lived and to Ireland to learn about Celtic Christianity. In spite of the obstacles of military occupation, we may even go to Israel and Palestine to walk where Jesus walked. We go to conferences to hear from the latest spiritual gurus and we go to retreat centers to find some solace in our busy lives.
Of course, we find some good in all these places. But picking up fragments of spiritual wisdom can begin to feel like trying to piece together a tree from limbs that we’ve broken off here and there. Even if we gather enough limbs to make a tree, something is still missing. Life just isn’t in the pieces the same way it is in a tree whose roots are fixed in the soil of a particular place.
The practice of stability invites us to give up spiritual journeys for the sake of growing in a life with God. As it turns out, people have been doing this for thousands of years. The forth century desert Father, Abba Anthony, said, “In whatever place you find yourself, do not easily leave it.” For over 1500 years, Benedictines have made stability a vow. For a host of reasons, staying put is becoming something of a movement of its own today. This is good news for those of us who’ve dug wells three feet deep in 10 different places and become frustrated that we haven’t hit water. It’s good news for neighborhoods that have been passed over and used for their cheap labor. And if the scientists are right about historically unprecedented climate change, this is good news for the earth too. It may well be that the most important thing we can do in our time for social justice is to give up our spiritual journeys and put down some roots for life with God and other people.
Giving Up Your Spiritual Journey (and Putting Down Roots)
by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove 04-23-2010
Don lived for years in the Chicago area, working hard and trying to keep up with the fast pace of his profession. Several years ago, he left the city and took a job on a somewhat remote college campus run by Benedictines. While visiting on the campus once, he and I walked the carefully cared-for grounds, talking about our faith. “Since coming here,” Don said, “I’ve given up my spiritual journey.”
I could tell from his smile that he had a point to make, so I asked what he meant. “Well, you know, we Christians talk a lot about our spiritual journeys. We get excited about experiences and go places looking for the next spiritual high. We say God called us here. Then God calls us there. But it’s all so individualistic. It’s all so focused on little ‘lessons’ or ‘insights’ that we’re supposed to take with us to the next place.” Don paused and looked around at some of the old men in long black robes who were walking by us on the campus. “I think I’m learning from these guys that God can change us if we’ll settle down in one place. So I’ve given up my spiritual journey. I’m going to just stay with God here and see how I can grow.”
We cannot ignore the many ways that our culture of hyper-mobility has shaped how we think about our spiritual lives. Thanks to cheap plane tickets and strong economies, we can go more places now than we’ve ever been able to go before. We go to Italy to see where Francis lived and to Ireland to learn about Celtic Christianity. In spite of the obstacles of military occupation, we may even go to Israel and Palestine to walk where Jesus walked. We go to conferences to hear from the latest spiritual gurus and we go to retreat centers to find some solace in our busy lives.
Of course, we find some good in all these places. But picking up fragments of spiritual wisdom can begin to feel like trying to piece together a tree from limbs that we’ve broken off here and there. Even if we gather enough limbs to make a tree, something is still missing. Life just isn’t in the pieces the same way it is in a tree whose roots are fixed in the soil of a particular place.
The practice of stability invites us to give up spiritual journeys for the sake of growing in a life with God. As it turns out, people have been doing this for thousands of years. The forth century desert Father, Abba Anthony, said, “In whatever place you find yourself, do not easily leave it.” For over 1500 years, Benedictines have made stability a vow. For a host of reasons, staying put is becoming something of a movement of its own today. This is good news for those of us who’ve dug wells three feet deep in 10 different places and become frustrated that we haven’t hit water. It’s good news for neighborhoods that have been passed over and used for their cheap labor. And if the scientists are right about historically unprecedented climate change, this is good news for the earth too. It may well be that the most important thing we can do in our time for social justice is to give up our spiritual journeys and put down some roots for life with God and other people.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Jim Wallis' take on Arizona's immigration bill.
I got up at 4:30 a.m. on Tuesday morning to fly to Phoenix, Arizona, to speak at a press conference and rally at the State Capitol at the invitation of the state’s clergy and other leaders in the immigration reform movement. The harshest enforcement bill in the country against undocumented immigrants just passed the Arizona state House and Senate, and is only awaiting the signature of Governor Janet Brewer to become law.
Senate Bill 1070 would require law enforcement officials in the state of Arizona to investigate someone’s immigration status if there is “reasonable suspicion” that the person might be undocumented. I wonder who that would be, and if anybody who doesn’t have brown skin will be investigated. Those without identification papers, even if they are legal, are subject to arrest; so don’t forget your wallet on your way to work if you are Hispanic in Arizona. You can also be arrested if you are stopped and are simply with people who are undocumented — even if they are your family. Parents or children of “mixed-status families” (made up of legal and undocumented, as many immigrant families are out here) could be arrested if they are found together. You can be arrested if you are “transporting or harboring” undocumented people. Some might consider driving immigrant families to and from church to be Christian ministry — but it will now be illegal in Arizona.
For the first time, all law enforcement officers in the state will be enlisted to hunt down undocumented people, which will clearly distract them from going after truly violent criminals, and will focus them on mostly harmless families whose work supports the economy and who contribute to their communities. And do you think undocumented parents will now go to the police if their daughter is raped or their family becomes a victim of violent crime? Maybe that’s why the state association of police chiefs is against SB 1070.
This proposed law is not only mean-spirited — it will be ineffective and will only serve to further divide communities in Arizona, making everyone more fearful and less safe. This radical new measure, which crosses many moral and legal lines, is a clear demonstration of the fundamental mistake of separating enforcement from comprehensive immigration reform. We all want to live in a nation of laws, and the immigration system in the U.S. is so broken that it is serving no one well. But enforcement without reform of the system is merely cruel. Enforcement without compassion is immoral. Enforcement that breaks up families is unacceptable. And enforcement of this law would force us to violate our Christian conscience, which we simply will not do. It makes it illegal to love your neighbor in Arizona.
Before the rally and press event, I visited some immigrant families who work at Neighborhood Ministries, an impressive community organization affiliated with Sojourners’ friends at the Christian Community Development Association. I met a group of women who were frightened by the raids that have been occurring, in which armed men invade their homes and neighborhoods with guns and helicopters. When the rumors of massive raids spread, many of these people flee both their homes and their workplaces, and head for The Church at The Neighborhood Center as the only place they feel safe and secure. But will police invade the churches if they are suspected of “harboring” undocumented people, because it is the law? Will the nurse practitioner I met at their medical clinic serving only uninsured people be arrested for being “with” the children of families who are here illegally as she treats them?
At the rally, I started with the words of Jesus (which drew cheers from the crowd gathered at the State Capitol), who instructed his disciples to “welcome the stranger,” and said that whatever we do to “the least of these, who are members of my family” we do to him. I think that means that to obey Jesus and his gospel will mean to disobey SB 1070 in Arizona. I looked at the governor’s Executive Tower and promised that many Christians in Arizona won’t comply with this law because the people they will target will be members of our “family” in the body of Christ. And any attack against them is an attack against us, and the One we follow.
Catholic Cardinal Roger Mahony of Los Angeles just called this Arizona measure “the country’s most retrogressive, mean-spirited, and useless immigration law” in the land. On CNN, I defended the Cardinal’s comments, which likened the requirement of people always carrying their “papers” to the most oppressive regimes of Nazism and Communism. I wonder whether the tea party movement that rails against government intrusion will rail against this law, or whether those who resist the forced government registration of their guns will resist the forced government requirement that immigrants must always carry their documentation. Will the true conservatives please stand up here? We are all waiting.
Arizona’s SB 1070 must be named as a social and racial sin, and should be denounced as such by people of faith and conscience across the nation. This is not just about Arizona, but about all of us, and about what kind of country we want to be. It’s time to stand up to this new strategy of “deportation by attrition,” which I heard for the first time today in Arizona. It is a policy of deliberate political cruelty, and it should be remembered that “attrition” is a term of war. Arizona is deciding whether to wage war on the body of Christ. We should say that if you come after one part of the body, you come after all of us.
Senate Bill 1070 would require law enforcement officials in the state of Arizona to investigate someone’s immigration status if there is “reasonable suspicion” that the person might be undocumented. I wonder who that would be, and if anybody who doesn’t have brown skin will be investigated. Those without identification papers, even if they are legal, are subject to arrest; so don’t forget your wallet on your way to work if you are Hispanic in Arizona. You can also be arrested if you are stopped and are simply with people who are undocumented — even if they are your family. Parents or children of “mixed-status families” (made up of legal and undocumented, as many immigrant families are out here) could be arrested if they are found together. You can be arrested if you are “transporting or harboring” undocumented people. Some might consider driving immigrant families to and from church to be Christian ministry — but it will now be illegal in Arizona.
For the first time, all law enforcement officers in the state will be enlisted to hunt down undocumented people, which will clearly distract them from going after truly violent criminals, and will focus them on mostly harmless families whose work supports the economy and who contribute to their communities. And do you think undocumented parents will now go to the police if their daughter is raped or their family becomes a victim of violent crime? Maybe that’s why the state association of police chiefs is against SB 1070.
This proposed law is not only mean-spirited — it will be ineffective and will only serve to further divide communities in Arizona, making everyone more fearful and less safe. This radical new measure, which crosses many moral and legal lines, is a clear demonstration of the fundamental mistake of separating enforcement from comprehensive immigration reform. We all want to live in a nation of laws, and the immigration system in the U.S. is so broken that it is serving no one well. But enforcement without reform of the system is merely cruel. Enforcement without compassion is immoral. Enforcement that breaks up families is unacceptable. And enforcement of this law would force us to violate our Christian conscience, which we simply will not do. It makes it illegal to love your neighbor in Arizona.
Before the rally and press event, I visited some immigrant families who work at Neighborhood Ministries, an impressive community organization affiliated with Sojourners’ friends at the Christian Community Development Association. I met a group of women who were frightened by the raids that have been occurring, in which armed men invade their homes and neighborhoods with guns and helicopters. When the rumors of massive raids spread, many of these people flee both their homes and their workplaces, and head for The Church at The Neighborhood Center as the only place they feel safe and secure. But will police invade the churches if they are suspected of “harboring” undocumented people, because it is the law? Will the nurse practitioner I met at their medical clinic serving only uninsured people be arrested for being “with” the children of families who are here illegally as she treats them?
At the rally, I started with the words of Jesus (which drew cheers from the crowd gathered at the State Capitol), who instructed his disciples to “welcome the stranger,” and said that whatever we do to “the least of these, who are members of my family” we do to him. I think that means that to obey Jesus and his gospel will mean to disobey SB 1070 in Arizona. I looked at the governor’s Executive Tower and promised that many Christians in Arizona won’t comply with this law because the people they will target will be members of our “family” in the body of Christ. And any attack against them is an attack against us, and the One we follow.
Catholic Cardinal Roger Mahony of Los Angeles just called this Arizona measure “the country’s most retrogressive, mean-spirited, and useless immigration law” in the land. On CNN, I defended the Cardinal’s comments, which likened the requirement of people always carrying their “papers” to the most oppressive regimes of Nazism and Communism. I wonder whether the tea party movement that rails against government intrusion will rail against this law, or whether those who resist the forced government registration of their guns will resist the forced government requirement that immigrants must always carry their documentation. Will the true conservatives please stand up here? We are all waiting.
Arizona’s SB 1070 must be named as a social and racial sin, and should be denounced as such by people of faith and conscience across the nation. This is not just about Arizona, but about all of us, and about what kind of country we want to be. It’s time to stand up to this new strategy of “deportation by attrition,” which I heard for the first time today in Arizona. It is a policy of deliberate political cruelty, and it should be remembered that “attrition” is a term of war. Arizona is deciding whether to wage war on the body of Christ. We should say that if you come after one part of the body, you come after all of us.
Monday, April 19, 2010
CARPE DIEM.
Right now, life IS A MESS. one giant crazy mess. will i graduate school? am i smart enough to move on with life? will i be able to afford a house? will i be about to get a job? will i be able to keep a job? will i be able to touch people's lives? will i be able to keep my own life sane? will i be able to keep my values strong? will i be able to help people? will i fall into temptations? will i trust God with my whole heart? will i be able to love? will i be able to let myself be loved?
will i get through this?
i say FUCK IT. Fuck all this future talk.
CARPE DIEM.
Live for the moment. Live for whatcha got.
Seize the day. You have noooooo clue what you are going to do tomorrow or what is even going to happen.
Take it in steps.
Enjoy your moments.
listen to the Bible... Eat, drink, and be merry!
Odes 1.11
Don't ask (it's forbidden to know) what end
the gods will grant to me or you, Leuconoe. Don't play with Babylonian
fortune-telling either. It is better to endure whatever will be.
Whether Jupiter has allotted to you many more winters or this final one
which even now wears out the Tyrrhenian sea on the rocks placed opposite
— be wise, strain the wine, and scale back your long hopes
to a short period. While we speak, envious time will have {already} fled
Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the next.
will i get through this?
i say FUCK IT. Fuck all this future talk.
CARPE DIEM.
Live for the moment. Live for whatcha got.
Seize the day. You have noooooo clue what you are going to do tomorrow or what is even going to happen.
Take it in steps.
Enjoy your moments.
listen to the Bible... Eat, drink, and be merry!
Odes 1.11
Don't ask (it's forbidden to know) what end
the gods will grant to me or you, Leuconoe. Don't play with Babylonian
fortune-telling either. It is better to endure whatever will be.
Whether Jupiter has allotted to you many more winters or this final one
which even now wears out the Tyrrhenian sea on the rocks placed opposite
— be wise, strain the wine, and scale back your long hopes
to a short period. While we speak, envious time will have {already} fled
Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the next.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Fishtown.
I can already call that place home:)
Friendly people.
Nommy coffee.
I can feel Jesus there.
He wants me in Philly...
for more than one reason, too.
Friendly people.
Nommy coffee.
I can feel Jesus there.
He wants me in Philly...
for more than one reason, too.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Come Closer
I feel disgusting.
I feel like I look like a pile of shit on a log.
I am disgusting.
I am a pile of shit on a log.
Sometimes I wonder how people can even look at me.
Sometimes I wonder why I let myself go.
Sometimes I wonder why I even care so much.
It would be nice to feel beautiful.
Maybe if I lose weight?
Maybe if I was taller?
Maybe if I didn't look so chunky?
Maybe if I wasn't so chunky?
Why does this matter so much?
Will I ever feel like I am the most beautiful person in the world to someone?
Is that shallow to ask?
I don't know.
I had to be made this way for a reason right?
Why the heck else would I be physically made looking like this piece of garbage?
Is my view distorted?
What the fuck. I just want to feel beautiful.
Every girl deserves to feel it.
But for once, I want to feel special, like I'm the only girl who is the MOST beautiful. Like I am the one who is loved by someone over any other girl.
That is my plea to the pressures of today.
Now here's a poem that should make me feel better....but kind of isn't. oh well.
CLOSER by Anis Mojgani
come closer.
come into this. come closer.
you are quite the beauty.
if no one has ever told you that before know that now.
you are beautiful.
there is joy in how your mouth dances with your teeth.
your mouth is a sign of how sacred your life truly is.
come into this. come closer.
Know that whatever God prays to he asks of it to make something of worth.
He woke from his dreams stripped the soil from the spaces inside himself and HE MADE YOU.
He made you and was happy.
YOU make the Lord happy.
COme into this. COme Closer.
know that something softer than us
but just as holy
planted the pieces of Himself into our feet that we might one day find our way back to Him. you are almost home.
There are birds beating their wings beneath your breastplate.
Gentle sparrows who are aching to sing.
COme aching hearts,
Come soldiers of joy, doorman of truth.
Know that my heart was too big for my body so I let it go.
I have shaved my corners off so I have felt at home only in a ball, bending myself so far backwards at the song of my mother's thought I was returning home, but believe me when I tell you that my soul,
my soul is squeezed into narrow spaces.
Place your hand beneath your head when you sleep tonight
and you may find it there making beauty as we dream,
as we sleep,
as we turn over,
when I turn over in the ground
may the ghosts that I've asked answers of do the turning.
Kneading me to crumbs of light
and in this thing love thing called life.
COme into it.
Come you wooden museums,
you gentle tigers.
Little giants.
I see teacups upside down growing in your smile.
Your hearts, they're like my hands.
SOme days they nothing but tremble.
I am like you.
I too at times am filled with fear.
I am like you.
But like the hallway you must find the strength to walk through it.
Walk through this with me.
Walk through this with me.
Into this church of blood, bone, and muscle that is our bodies, that is our lives. That is ours.
There's a door.
Put your hand on its knob.
Pull it open.
Step Forward.
Head up.
Back straight.
Eyes open and hearts loud.
Walk into this. Walk through this with me.
Walk through this.
I feel like I look like a pile of shit on a log.
I am disgusting.
I am a pile of shit on a log.
Sometimes I wonder how people can even look at me.
Sometimes I wonder why I let myself go.
Sometimes I wonder why I even care so much.
It would be nice to feel beautiful.
Maybe if I lose weight?
Maybe if I was taller?
Maybe if I didn't look so chunky?
Maybe if I wasn't so chunky?
Why does this matter so much?
Will I ever feel like I am the most beautiful person in the world to someone?
Is that shallow to ask?
I don't know.
I had to be made this way for a reason right?
Why the heck else would I be physically made looking like this piece of garbage?
Is my view distorted?
What the fuck. I just want to feel beautiful.
Every girl deserves to feel it.
But for once, I want to feel special, like I'm the only girl who is the MOST beautiful. Like I am the one who is loved by someone over any other girl.
That is my plea to the pressures of today.
Now here's a poem that should make me feel better....but kind of isn't. oh well.
CLOSER by Anis Mojgani
come closer.
come into this. come closer.
you are quite the beauty.
if no one has ever told you that before know that now.
you are beautiful.
there is joy in how your mouth dances with your teeth.
your mouth is a sign of how sacred your life truly is.
come into this. come closer.
Know that whatever God prays to he asks of it to make something of worth.
He woke from his dreams stripped the soil from the spaces inside himself and HE MADE YOU.
He made you and was happy.
YOU make the Lord happy.
COme into this. COme Closer.
know that something softer than us
but just as holy
planted the pieces of Himself into our feet that we might one day find our way back to Him. you are almost home.
There are birds beating their wings beneath your breastplate.
Gentle sparrows who are aching to sing.
COme aching hearts,
Come soldiers of joy, doorman of truth.
Know that my heart was too big for my body so I let it go.
I have shaved my corners off so I have felt at home only in a ball, bending myself so far backwards at the song of my mother's thought I was returning home, but believe me when I tell you that my soul,
my soul is squeezed into narrow spaces.
Place your hand beneath your head when you sleep tonight
and you may find it there making beauty as we dream,
as we sleep,
as we turn over,
when I turn over in the ground
may the ghosts that I've asked answers of do the turning.
Kneading me to crumbs of light
and in this thing love thing called life.
COme into it.
Come you wooden museums,
you gentle tigers.
Little giants.
I see teacups upside down growing in your smile.
Your hearts, they're like my hands.
SOme days they nothing but tremble.
I am like you.
I too at times am filled with fear.
I am like you.
But like the hallway you must find the strength to walk through it.
Walk through this with me.
Walk through this with me.
Into this church of blood, bone, and muscle that is our bodies, that is our lives. That is ours.
There's a door.
Put your hand on its knob.
Pull it open.
Step Forward.
Head up.
Back straight.
Eyes open and hearts loud.
Walk into this. Walk through this with me.
Walk through this.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Worship Explosion
Sometimes I think too hard about being created in God's image.
Especially when it comes to relationships.
Sometimes I wonder if when he's talking to us he's like, "You know what i love most? When you tell me how much you love me.
When you express it in such a way I feel important."
And then I'm like, "Wow, you mean the world to me. I wouldn't trade you for a thousand cute puppies." And then he's like, " You, my dear, are so beautiful and precious to me. You are adored and are so special to the world."
And then i was like, and then he was like, and then i was like...
What if there was something more?
Is this what love is?
Is this what life is about?
But what if there was something more...
What if God was like, "Hey beautiful one. What if we stood shoulder to shoulder? What if we embraced each others strengths, embellished the weaknesses, and spread love like violence?"
"What if we sought out peace with one mind and pressed on toward this hope, this hope that is only found in true, genuine love, the love we will spread to the world together."
"What if every time we saw each other, another person is blessed?"
"What if every time we held hands, that tingly feeling, you know the one, deep down in your stomach that feels like a million, butterflies had babies and are fluttering around like crazy, we transfer that moment to the one's overlooked, to the one's you blow off or are suffering."
Then I spend hours thinking, God has a good point.
Sometimes I get too caught up in this feeling that I don't even understand why I love you (God). I'm blinded by your beauty and grace that I forget there is more than face to face worship. This romance we have, its not solely for us. Romance is more than loving each other forever. It's walking alongside each other and sharing this intimate love we have to those God loves most. Loving each other goes beyond infatuation. IN relationships with a significant other, when we embrace each others differences and love each other through storms, it is a form of worship. When we show others that we have this love we want to share in a way that may end up showing someone love is real, that is worship.
God, this is the relationship I want.
Can you imagine having a love like that?
I just want to confess I have this loss of hope and unbalance in my life at times. Why the hell do I think im so unlovable? It hinders me from trusting others and keeps me from giving the love I know I need to give. I just pray for peace and I pray this becomes the purpose of my life to love you and let that love you show me overflow to the people that you love most. help me love like you love. When the time comes for me to share this shoulder to shoulder love with someone let us spread this love we have for each other like it was a wildfire and this hope we find in this relationship like it can cure a disease.
Shalom.
Especially when it comes to relationships.
Sometimes I wonder if when he's talking to us he's like, "You know what i love most? When you tell me how much you love me.
When you express it in such a way I feel important."
And then I'm like, "Wow, you mean the world to me. I wouldn't trade you for a thousand cute puppies." And then he's like, " You, my dear, are so beautiful and precious to me. You are adored and are so special to the world."
And then i was like, and then he was like, and then i was like...
What if there was something more?
Is this what love is?
Is this what life is about?
But what if there was something more...
What if God was like, "Hey beautiful one. What if we stood shoulder to shoulder? What if we embraced each others strengths, embellished the weaknesses, and spread love like violence?"
"What if we sought out peace with one mind and pressed on toward this hope, this hope that is only found in true, genuine love, the love we will spread to the world together."
"What if every time we saw each other, another person is blessed?"
"What if every time we held hands, that tingly feeling, you know the one, deep down in your stomach that feels like a million, butterflies had babies and are fluttering around like crazy, we transfer that moment to the one's overlooked, to the one's you blow off or are suffering."
Then I spend hours thinking, God has a good point.
Sometimes I get too caught up in this feeling that I don't even understand why I love you (God). I'm blinded by your beauty and grace that I forget there is more than face to face worship. This romance we have, its not solely for us. Romance is more than loving each other forever. It's walking alongside each other and sharing this intimate love we have to those God loves most. Loving each other goes beyond infatuation. IN relationships with a significant other, when we embrace each others differences and love each other through storms, it is a form of worship. When we show others that we have this love we want to share in a way that may end up showing someone love is real, that is worship.
God, this is the relationship I want.
Can you imagine having a love like that?
I just want to confess I have this loss of hope and unbalance in my life at times. Why the hell do I think im so unlovable? It hinders me from trusting others and keeps me from giving the love I know I need to give. I just pray for peace and I pray this becomes the purpose of my life to love you and let that love you show me overflow to the people that you love most. help me love like you love. When the time comes for me to share this shoulder to shoulder love with someone let us spread this love we have for each other like it was a wildfire and this hope we find in this relationship like it can cure a disease.
Shalom.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Take up Your Cross
Henri Nouwen
Your pain is deep, and it won't just go away. it is also uniquely yours, because it is linked to some of your earliest life experiences.
Your call is to bring the pain home. As long as your wounded part remains foreign to your adult self, your pain will injure you as well as others. Yes, you have to incorporate your pain into your self and let it bear fruit in your heart and the hearts of others.
This is what Jesus means when he askes you to take up your cross. he encourages you to recognize and embrace your unique suffering and to trust that your way of salvation lies therein. Taking up your cross means, first of all, befriending your qounds and letting them reveal to you your own truth.
There is great pain and suffering in the world. But the pain hardest to bear is your own. Once you have taken up that cross, you will be able to see clearly the crosses that others have to bear, and you will be able to reveal to them their own ways to joy, peace, and freedom.
Shalom.
Your pain is deep, and it won't just go away. it is also uniquely yours, because it is linked to some of your earliest life experiences.
Your call is to bring the pain home. As long as your wounded part remains foreign to your adult self, your pain will injure you as well as others. Yes, you have to incorporate your pain into your self and let it bear fruit in your heart and the hearts of others.
This is what Jesus means when he askes you to take up your cross. he encourages you to recognize and embrace your unique suffering and to trust that your way of salvation lies therein. Taking up your cross means, first of all, befriending your qounds and letting them reveal to you your own truth.
There is great pain and suffering in the world. But the pain hardest to bear is your own. Once you have taken up that cross, you will be able to see clearly the crosses that others have to bear, and you will be able to reveal to them their own ways to joy, peace, and freedom.
Shalom.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Avoid...
...all forms of self-rejection.
You must avoid not only blaming others but also blaming yourself. You are inclined to blame yourself for the difficulties you experience in relationships. But self-blame is not a form of humility. It is a form of self-rejection in which you ignore or deny your own goodness and beauty.
When a friendship does not blossom, when a word is not received, when a gesture of love is not appreciated, do not blame it on yourself. This is both untrue and hurtful. Every time you reject yourself, you idealize others. You want to be with those whom you consider better, stronger, more intelligent, more gifted than yourself. Thus you make yourself emotionally dependent, leading others to feel unable to fulfill your expectations and causing them to withdraw from you. This makes you blame yourself even more, and you enter a dangerous spiral of self-rejection and neediness.
Avoid all forms of self-rejection. Acknowledge your limitations, but claim your unique gifts and thereby live as an equal among equals. That will set you free from your obsessive and possessive needs and enable you to give and receive true affection and friendship.
Shalom.
You must avoid not only blaming others but also blaming yourself. You are inclined to blame yourself for the difficulties you experience in relationships. But self-blame is not a form of humility. It is a form of self-rejection in which you ignore or deny your own goodness and beauty.
When a friendship does not blossom, when a word is not received, when a gesture of love is not appreciated, do not blame it on yourself. This is both untrue and hurtful. Every time you reject yourself, you idealize others. You want to be with those whom you consider better, stronger, more intelligent, more gifted than yourself. Thus you make yourself emotionally dependent, leading others to feel unable to fulfill your expectations and causing them to withdraw from you. This makes you blame yourself even more, and you enter a dangerous spiral of self-rejection and neediness.
Avoid all forms of self-rejection. Acknowledge your limitations, but claim your unique gifts and thereby live as an equal among equals. That will set you free from your obsessive and possessive needs and enable you to give and receive true affection and friendship.
Shalom.
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