The Box Cutter - by Derrick Brown

He has shown up to my living room
as a pile of boxes.
You are 19 brown boxes,
stacked correctly, you are a fort
and when examined closely
you have been beaten and tossed around the country
by women in short shorts.

Must i cut you to let the colors out?

I have asked these boxes to come
and crawl under the sheets with me.

Their mouths are taped shut by someone doing business.
I apologize for the business you have endured.

I touch the tan ridges and smell the dead trees
and synthetic glues of packing tape.
I lick the labels until your name and numbers splotch together.

All beautiful boxes are hiding some sort of buried offense.

Hiding deep in the packing peanuts
resting in wads of bubble wrap,
there is something awful.

I can kind of see it through the plastic stuff.
I do not touch it.

This phase now pops in my head:
"You're healed. You're healed, now walk with me."

I wanted to make you my human,
to take off all your clothes
so i could make you more naked.

Shut up and
I'll make you naked.

Shy boxes.
I am as lost as the texts for the origins of evil.
My hands move on you as sleek and aimless as a psalm.

I expect to open you and find the zippers of daylight,
or a pilot's license and a pair of keys.
Nowhere is welcome.

I lay the boxes in the shape of a robot and lay spread eagle across them.
I am with you, boxes.
Your skin beckons mailmen to marvel at your tender paper tigers.
They tear into the night to suck at your packing slips.

Your spirit rides me frantic like a junkie.
I scoop one small box into a backpack
and I head to the Hollywood Bowl.
I had to pay for two.
I spit wine into your seams.
I open you and there is only broken glass, a map and a note"

"All former lovers become blurry lessons.
All jealousy is a jail of lousy reasons.
Lay out the glass. Open the map.
Walk to me. You are healed."

The first day after college graduation.

I woke up this morning to a fuzzy animal sleeping on my face, the smell of bacon, and two very hyper grandparents cleaning my house. Later, Pat came over and met the entire Carlson family:) He fits in already. Then, after sitting here for a while and realizing how great today was, it hit me. THere is no reason to complain about my life. My life is amazing. Good home, good family, good boyfriend. Honestly, what more could i ask for?

Lying in a Hammock at William Duffy's Farm in Pine Island, Minnesota

Over my head, I see the bronze butterfly
Asleep on the black trunk,
Blowing like a leaf in green shadow.
Down the ravine behind the empty house,
The cowbells follow one another
Into the distances of the afternoon.
To my right,
In a field of sunlight between two pines,
The droppings of last year's horses
Blaze up into golden stones.
I lean back, as the evening darkens and comes on.
A chicken hawk floats over, looking for home.
I have wasted my life.

-- James Wright

White Wine.

I love white wine. It is so good. I drank so much of it yesterday and watched Nightmare on Elm Street and Evil Dead. Those movies are already awesome and even better on Sauvignon. nom nom nom.

Jewelery.

So, since I am almost a college graduate and can now make real money (LAWLZ) I can afford to buy cool jewelery. Jewelry is something I really love. people actually used to define me by the jewelery i wear. Hopefully I can update my collection soon and become cool again :)

My Life is Average.

So I always thought that website was really funny. Honestly, I don't think a lot of those lives are average at all. Every day interests me. I don't know. Maybe I'm boring and weird, but I would rather call it easily entertained. You know what's interesting? Today, all I did was wake up and hand in papers. Sweet sweet victory.

My mind is very out there right now. I have been doing so much thinking lately I really don't think I have any more intelligent things to say or witty blog posts to write for a while so I am just going to write whatever words come to mind to try to track my transition from completely stressed out Amanda to easy going Amanda. I'm excited :)

This Saturday is graduation. I picked up my cap and gown today! Mommom and Pops are coming as well as mom and dad. I think I'm going to miss Messiah, but I wouldn't say I will miss it too much. But anyway, the next day will be awesome because Pat and I are going to smash things and, he doesn't know this yet, but we are also going to make a giant bonfire because that's just what I like to do. Well, okay. I am just stalling from finishing my theology final. SO there is my update from my boring day. It was pretty exciting for me but you weren't there.

k. peace.

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL.

EVER!!!!