AHHH! SHMEASTER!

I absolutely love Easter.
This is madd cool.
I always feel like I love more of Easter and that's probably true.

Jesus is Risen everybody!
I'm all about accepting other people and their religions, but this is the event that makes the religion I follow freakin awesome.

Like WTF? Really God? You decided to be super cool and rise from the dead? Nice.

I'm so happy that [insert church name] got something right. We are created in God's image. Wow. We are created by that dude that rose from the dead. I like to think that when I die I rise from the dead like Jesus. My life may not be as special, but some people like the believe it's at least a little special. I want to leave this world doing something epic and awesome, for the glory of this dude/dudette/shim.

This is the day I make a new goal to do something GREAT, something to better the world. I already helped open a feeding center in Kenya, changed someone's life in Vancouver, had my life changed in New Zealand, graduated with a degree that made me into the person I am today, saved someone from killing themselves, loved everyone like there is no hurt. Today I decided to keep that goal going. Loving like it CAN CURE A DISEASE. Please Lord, I want to cause peeps a miracle by the way I keep your image ALIVE.


Oh Lord, thank you for seducing me with your love song.
You granted mercy when I was weak, loved me, when I felt my voice was being plastered to the bottom of my lungs.
Thank you, for finding my breath hiding under all the wind instruments.
You helped me stop playing musical chairs with all the exit signs of life!
I am whole. I am new.
Praise Allah.


Shalom <3

blee

dee bloopy

THE BRANCHES ARE FULL AND THESE ORCHARDS HEAVY

gentlemen have you forgotten your god?

He weeps out loud
waiting for our dreams to grow like ears
while you are making ghosts out of people
making ghosts from your torah
your koran
your bibles

we have shaved our books down
swallowed them
so that the word of God
might flow through us
but the pages just sit in our bellies
speaking to us in dull murmurs as we sleep
we wonder what to do
make me understand
we wish to become one with our Lord
we hear the voices and think we know what they say
this
is the word of God
i hear this i heard this correctly
so we rise and try to translate this word
with the work
with the heart
we search the bed
through thighs
the blanket the leg the needle twist
fuck and the fuck you
curse of the moon
to find our Lord
and listen more proper-like
but our ears are too small
for our hearts to understand the humming of these sentences inside of us

we are trying to decipher the bang buck braille of Your silent throat Lord
but the voices grow and grow just as fuzzy
so we stand and go to the kitchen
and pick up knives to cut these voices out from inside
we stab ourselves
i must hear You
cutting the flap of our skins
the words twist on the floor of our homes
mixing their sounds with our blood
they drown
but it does not stop
i must hear you
we hear the same songs singing in the stomachs of others
so we grab more knives to cut those out
but there are more and more stomachs
—we need
bigger knives
we need soldiers tanks and missiles
but we still cannot make out the words
we need dead mothers
and children raped from searching
the hospitals are full and overflowing
from us trying to cut our God from our gut
with the blade the pipe
the fingernail twist of the drug
pushed and poked through the arm to the belly
to throw Him up
in the bang of the scream
we find our savior
the shell in the chamber
is a quiet plea to a distant God
asking for us to be remembered by Him
through the tire tread
through the smoke of the tank
the crunch of the skull
through the babies we bury beneath us
we empty their tiny limbs to see if a scrap of our Lord still lingered
somewhere inside there
we clutch throats pistols and palms in the same two handed clasp of prayer
staring into the mirror
we see crypts
fondling the marble of our hearts like they were mausoleums
we are ghosts hungry
for something bigger then what our mouths are kissing

let me see You
let me see You Lord
i have balanced in the middle of the question
black as my eye
beaten by Your hymn
i am holding still

so
go ahead
you gentle

men of God
you tender sinners

take your rifles
raise to my gut and fire on

hear the song more clearly
it does not sing what you wish it did

it is too big for us to see a letter of it
so do not even try

cut Him from me

i wish to drape His face with my kisses
and finally sleep softly

Time

Sometimes we waste our time in life. For instance, I went to college to be a missionary. Post college could not find a job. I went to Tech School to be a Cardiology Technician. I have no desire to be a cardiologist. SO really if you think about it, i wasted my time hardcore for the past five years.

But I look at this in a different perspective. Through going to christian school, i found what my true beliefs are. I also came out with a Bachelor's Degree. Through struggling to find a job afterwards, I felt what it is like to be struggling in today's economy like the thousands of other people in this economy. i learned what life is like living from paycheck to paycheck through the people I have met. I learned I want to actually work in a hospital someday, just through a non-medical field. I found my passion to become a social worker through this process and i probably wouldnt have come to this conclusion without all this experience.

So really, time is what you make of it. it is a ginormous struggle. Heck, im still trying to find a job. But it is totally worth it. Live life up.

Peace